Umm… that would be me.
I know this may come as a great shock to you, but I give totally awesome romance and relationship advice. This, according to my dance friend, let’s call her “Jane”, who is going out on a plethora of dates these days with a variety of men, and has nicknamed me “Dr. Love”.
She’s finding all of these men on dating apps — which she’s been encouraging me to sign up on, too: Bumble, Tinder… etc.
(I don’t want to.)
For the past few months, Jane has been emailing me asking what she should text back to all of her random men: Man A, Man B, Man C (etc.) and how to handle Man Q’s flakiness. We go back and forth debating those game-like tricks of the trade — like how you’re not supposed to text the guy back immediately, because it may make you look: a) anxious; b) desperate; or c) like you have nothing better to do (too available).
(Dr. Love does not like such games… but when strangers are involved and you’re meeting them on dating apps, the entire experience seems like a game. Especially when the alien ships start descending from the top of the screen and you have to hit them with your laser. <<This last sentence is just a little Space Invaders joke for you, courtesy of Dr. Love.)
But you also do want a guy who takes a real interest in you and can make a good date decision without leaving it all up to you. Not one who cancels at the last minute (after making you wait for him). Or who contacts you at the last minute to get together (say, 10pm). Or who leaves you hanging for a week or so, after you’d thought you’d made plans ahead of time for something and then says, “Sorry I got busy.”
This is why you will not find Dr. Love dating via app.
The doctor would much rather glance across a crowded room and catch someone’s gaze… and just know.
(You know, that’s the way falling in love has been done for centuries. It’s like finding a hidden treasure, non? Someone who understands you completely and (amazingly) becomes your best friend because you’re magically in sync with each other — and now they’re part of your life, all because you were in the right place at the right time and looked across the room and met their unexpected glance.)
(But what do I know?!)
Jane has lamented that she hates the idea of texting with her potential dates… because it’s such short snippets of conversations and she doesn’t know how you can get to know anyone that way. I’m not sure why she doesn’t just exchange phone numbers with them, but she seems to think that would be awkward.
“I have to say that texting is a pain…. We expect people to respond quickly and you can’t have a real conversation. It’s an odd thing. But, talking on the phone has gone out of style. Hmmm…” – Jane
“Why don’t you respond to a text from Man X with a simple: ‘Please call me.’
“If he asks why, just say, ‘I like the sound of your voice.'” – Dr. Love
Jane said she could never say that to anyone.
Please ignore the fact that Dr. Love has never actually said this to any man either… but that doesn’t mean the thought hasn’t crossed her mind.
Well… anyway… Dr. Love does have a few ideas about love to share. Whether or not they work on would-be suitors remains to be seen….