There are two men with whom I have recently spent a bit of time communicating. Just by chance. Meaning: I did not proactively pursue them of my own accord. They just both individually discovered my existence and pounced on me. At least, that’s what it has felt like.
I met both of them through random interactions with various organizations I participate in. In both cases, conversation has flowed fairly well (if you ignore significant missteps along the way). And while they’ve both shown romantic interest in me (which, again, I was not seeking)… I can tell you quite confidently, neither one of them is “the one” for me. For completely different reasons.
I actually created a chart to highlight all the ways in which we do not connect. I make up charts and graphics like that sometimes to get thoughts out of my head where I can see them all laid out in black and white before me.
[Or possibly in full color using multiple fonts (to match my moods), with beloved iconic images thrown in as I ramble on and on (and on) for a million pages, with lyrics and links to all of my favorite songs sprinkled into the text here and there. But, of course, you only get that from me if I am totally in love with you and I don’t know how else to tell you. (Therefore, I have done this only once………. Or, umm… actually…I think I may have done it three times. But it was all for the same person so….) Anyway…]
These are some of the things that were on their chart:
Both of them claim to be moved by music… Unfortunately, their favorite songs are not the kind of music that moves me; nor to the depth at which I dive into my favorite songs.
They both have a poetic nature… however, the poetry that moves them does not inspire me.
One of them has a well-earned career, which I have no interest in hearing about; the other one has an interesting career that he is passionate about, but he is not making a living at it.
Anyway, it’s unnecessary to share all the particulars here. The bottom line is that yes, we have some things in common. But not enough to even keep a conversation going. So neither of these eligible men are for me, and that is all I need to know about them.
But… then, something else happened. In addition to being pounced on by the two aforementioned un-pursuable suitors this summer, I just became aware of something very damaging that was done by someone else in my life…
So I am now shifting my focus away from everything else that’s going on to prepare for the oncoming legal battle I am about to face. I know this turn of events is actually a blessing in disguise… but… it has highlighted the vacant space in my life.
While I have weathered many storms before and overcome them on my own (out of necessity, not always choice), I can’t help thinking how good it would feel to have someone in my life right now… a man who is strong-minded, smart and caring enough to have my back… who understands me in ways no one else can… who tells me funny jokes to lift my mood… who shares meaningful songs and thoughts that carry me through the day.
You know… just your above-average nice, smart, funny, romantic guy who loves me and is willing to stand by my side and fight for (and with) me. A handsome, gentlemanly, manly best friend… who wants to experience happy things with me… together.
Yep. That would be nice. 🙂
‘Cause this going-it-alone thing has gotten really old. And I’d like to think the rest of my life is going to be better than expected.