I can run, but I cannot hide…

So, I was at Walmart the other day… buying a can of white spray paint.

As I was checking out at the cash register, Stray Cat Strut came on. So, of course, I started singing the lyrics to myself…

“Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh….”

By the time I paid and walked out of the store, I was mouthing the lyrics silently into the airwaves — the part about slinking down the alley. I was swinging my shopping bag a little bit along the way as I prowled in kitty cat style across the parking lot toward my car.

That’s when a strange man in a white van with his window rolled down caught my eye. He was talking on his mobile phone, or mumbling to himself… I wasn’t sure… yet.

So, he sees me singing and thinks I’m talking to him. But… I am not. And I continue on my way.

I get to my car and, as I’m opening the door, the white van rolls up to me slowly. He says to me, and I quote, “Wow. You are amazingly beautiful. Will you marry me?”

[No need to remind you this happened at Walmart.]

I laughed as he asked me if I was already married. I tried to hide my de-ringed left hand and said, “Yes, I do have a husband.”

“Well,” the white van man told me, “he is one lucky guy! You are soooo beautiful.”

Uhh, yeah. Ya said that already.

“Thank you,” I told him, getting into my car and turning on the ignition, trying to make a quick escape without alarming him, “I haven’t heard that in a long time.”

[Not many men notice that I’ve got cat class and I got cat style these days…]

He continued, “I was talking on the phone to this woman and when I saw you, I couldn’t help myself. I said, ‘You are beautiful. Will you marry me?’ out loud and she thought I was talking to HER! But no… it was you.”


[When in doubt, laugh.]

“Aww, poor thing,” I told him, laughing slightly and starting to roll my car back in reverse… at which point we bid each other adieu.

Later that evening when I relayed the story to my daughter, she said, “Well you have to expect that, Mom. You are pretty.”

Isn’t she precious? 😐


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