“What is my life without your love?
Tell me, who am I without you by my side?”
There’s a reason why my very first chapter of PS opens with Elyse spending the morning of her first day of college “rocking out” her youthful romantic angst around her bedroom to the song What Is Life? by George Harrison, her favorite Beatle.
Elyse doesn’t know what life holds for her yet, but she does know one thing: She wants to live it well, to share it with someone indescribably, unimaginably perfect for her — someone who understands her mind, fills her thoughts, inspires her heart, complements her talents, shares her ideals and tastes, helps her become a better person, and lets her into his heart… lets her into his life.
Most of all, she wants someone who is equally as passionate about life and love as she is — someone whose soul stirs intensely with every song he hears… someone who treasures every word he reads… someone who can see beyond what’s apparent to everyone else… someone who knows who he is and wants to experience and share all that he can be… someone who wants to know and understand everything in the world, and what it all means… someone who is willing and able to share his time, himself with her.
Someone as deep, imaginative and giving as she is.
But… Elyse also realizes that her view of love is considered “idealistic” by most people. “It’s unreasonable to expect any one person to meet all of your ‘requirements'”, she’s been told. “There is no one out there like that at all,” she’s also been told. And, “You’ll never find him…. You’ll be lucky to find someone who comes close. So, if that person finds you, choose him.”
Elyse doesn’t believe them, though. She can’t. Something keeps telling her to believe in herself instead — and to keep believing in whoever he is… the one she dreams of finding… the one who may be dreaming of her, too.
She is absolutely certain that she will meet him… and they will be together someday.
So no matter what others may think or say, it doesn’t deter Elyse or negate her desire for what could be. It doesn’t cause her to seek out less for herself, believing her ideal to be unattainable. And it won’t stop her from falling in love with the man of her dreams when she does finally meet him…
… despite his inability to share himself with her.
Elyse has no idea who he may be, of course, but she knows that he is out there. Somewhere. Looking for her. He’s got to be… because, without him, life won’t be the same.
But… this post isn’t just about Elyse.
It’s about the choices we all make in life — the people we let go of… the people we let in and keep… the experiences we forgo… the decisions we contemplate rather than pursue… the mistakes we make… the lessons we learn… the roads we take… the directions we turn… choices that lead us astray… events that bring us back… things we give up on… wrongs we make right… how it all turns out in the end… how we feel about it then… whether or not we trust what we’re feeling… and whether or not we trust those around us to share that feeling.
Unfortunately, I think sometimes we scare ourselves when we see our “ideal” standing right in front of us; when Fate is manifesting itself in our hands; when the world suddenly starts turning in our hearts; when our entire being is sighing in great relief of having found precisely what we’ve been searching for….
It’s all there for us… yet, we still manage to dispel it.
Do we think we don’t deserve it or are incapable of handling it?
Do we honestly believe Fate to be so cruel as to first cause us to long for someone we are incapable of acquiring… and then provide that person to us but only under circumstances that insist we must reject them?
Or is it just us, perhaps, who are so cruel to ourselves — not believing our good luck or true worth — that we turn Fate down when approached by it?
Maybe it’s because we experienced something early on in life that inadvertently taught us not to hope for or accept something better.
Maybe it’s simply because we are too blind to see all that we are — and how much more we could be with someone else, someone in particular.
Maybe it’s because we get used to “settling” for what we have and, therefore, trust it more than our own desires because it’s familiar and “easier”.
Maybe even because the wrong (or not quite right) person we happen to be with at a particular moment is actually luckier than we are… so that, instead of making our own dreams come true, we instead relinquish ourselves — the entirety of our one-and-only lives — over to them and theirs…
And so… in the end… in the process of making our realities come true rather than our dreams — in which we rightly and wholeheartedly claim for ourselves the magical, inspiring, perfect-for-us one we really want (and who Fate has designed for and presented to us) — two lives that hold much promise are ultimately lived separately, without passion: the two who are too scared to choose each other, even though they are both well aware that they have only one life to live at all, alone or together.
Watch: “O mio babbino caro”
See what I mean??? 😉